Posts tagged lesbian

Blogging…I miss actually typing anyway…I honestly don’t know how many words per minute that I type, but for someone to be self-taught should tell myself that damnit, I type pretty damn good…and fast! 

A journey that I’m on & doesn’t know when it’ll end…isn’t it a trip that us humans, us adults have to remind ourselves of words of wisdom, just so that we can feel some sort of validation & self-assurance…to feel better about ourselves, so that we can move on with our day?  That’s how us adults operate, we need that daily guidance, so that we won’t feel like we’ve failed somewhere…or that we won’t fuck up…and if we do, we do…we just got to keep in mind that it’s in the history books and things WILL be ok.

Certain things about people and life in general fascinates me, and having to get use to wisdom and guidance from other sources, rather than recieving it from the one who gave me life…is an adjustment that I have to get used to; I honestly thought that the adjustment would happen when I’m much older, but even at 33, I still feel like that little Tiff-Tiff who still needs that little bit of help, that guidance, that assurance, that wisdom…that push…to get through the day, to get through life…and it’s hard, but my spiritual strength is guiding me, the memories, the advice from the past is also guiding me…and this journey…I would have to remind myself that this is my life & I can make it however I want, I can treat this life like a playground full of imaginations that can become a reality…it’s possible…a lot of you don’t know that I do believe in this thing called “Law of Attraction”…but sometimes, becoming clear of what you want can be a struggle, one minute I have a vision of getting married to somebody & the next minute, having sex with another…my visions are turning into contradictions…damn near clouded…almost turning into confusion, but I guess that’s where meditation comes in handy…to clear the mind & be clear of the vision, the imagination, the dream…or maybe I’m mixing my visions with fantasies…two different mind flows…although a fantasy can transition into a vision…………….

I know I’ve lost ya’ll somewhere, but this is what’s going on in my mind, but in the end, I just want to live, I want to let go, I want to be guided, but I want to do things on my own terms AND I want my visions to be clear…I believe they are…I just need to put my foot down on what the fuck I really want.

….but I doubt that anyone would read this anyway LOL…fuck it, someone is going to read this, with the right tags of course, HA!

I had a plan, the plan was to get back into the dating scene, some way, somehow…but this woman has been consuming my mind lately…Monday night, the 21st was our breakthrough…expressing how much we do like each other and now…she weighs so heavily on my mind and I weigh so heavily on her’s, she admit that. 

We’re both good, loving, caring, soulful, artistic, once again…GOOD women from two different states, I even said to myself shortly after I 1st spoke to her, “man, I’m tired of talking to all of these women who are long distance, and as far as this woman who I’ve had an attraction for since October of 2011, I don’t know if it’s going to work…”, and as I was saying it, I was feeling this form of sadness from within, a feeling of doubt, but I had to shake it off and just say, “look Tiff, just continue to talk to her…”…so I did, in fact, when we 1st spoke…at first, it totally went over my head that she was feeling me…until a few conversations later, she told me LOL.  But our breakthrough…finding out that she was crushing on me for over a year…and then me crushing on her since Oct. of 2011…the epiphany was very evident…Universe wanted us to connect, PERIOD!

The feelings are so mutual, and now…we’re missing each other, anxious to want to talk to each other, already giving each other lil’ gifts *wink*…you see, she always wanted a woman to treat her from time to time, but not ALL the time…because she’s always the one doing the treating, most bois do anyway…but us ladies got to remember that bois are WOMEN too…and there ain’t nothing wrong with bois getting…what I call…”the royal treatment”…even from a distance ;) . 

I don’t know where this thing that we got going on is going, but I know one thing, I’m going to take my time with this & just flow…I mean, I really do like her & that it seems that the other women that I’ve flirted with don’t even matter anymore, for this woman grabbed my attention…not realizing that she has stepped the bar up big time, knocking all the other women that I’ve flirted with out of the water LOL!

So, am I still thinking about getting back into the dating scene in the Bay Area?  My answer to that is……….this is very hard to answer because, I really don’t want to put all of my eggs in one basket, for I want to keep my options WIDE OPEN, but that woman…she did something to me, she makes me want to invest my time on her & who knows…we might wound up having a long distance relationship…and me being a partial co-parent (which is something I’ve NEVER done before…and honestly didn’t want to be a co-parent, nor want to talk to any women with kids for that matter, hence me not having any…but like my Mom said at one point, “you’re kid friendly” LOL…which I am…I have cousins who are the ages of her kids…and I’m an AUNTY, even being an Aunty is new to me, but I can swing it, besides, if the Universe didn’t want us to talk…especially if I knew from the gates that she has kids, we wouldn’t be talking, PERIOD!)…who knows, I might wound up being her partner…and then later on down the line…her WIFE…which for some odd reason, I keep visualizing us getting married & being so happy together & continue to be happy together for years to come…in fact, why do I see us romantically connecting for YEARS?! 

Yeah, she said that she has flaws, but so do I…and we’re learning about each other…she’s worth it, just her being, her personality..hell, just her being herself is so attractive…she is consuming me & I haven’t felt this way in awhile, and I cannot let fear come in the middle of this, the fear of the unknown…life is too fucken short, I’m just going to let this ride and enjoy it…enjoy this journey, and see where it takes us. <3

When I first saw you on my computer screen,

I heard a voice…rich as high quality chocolate swirled in cheesecake,

except that you didn’t make me sick…

instead…

your voice,

tasted so rare that it made my body tingle with unexpected vibrations,

as you creshendo and de-creshendo effortlessly…

who needs a piece of plastic from my top drawer

when I can just let the rhythm from your deep tone

embrace me & seduce me into a sedated trance…

your voice,

does something to me…

musicians have always been a turn-on,

but you…had a sistah high with the quickness from just one note…

in fact, the notes has me floating from your vocal fragrance full of sweet melody,

your voice,

has a soulful smoothness that’s appealing to me,

collaboration is what I imagine,

as we share a talent that we both have,

our voices in sync,

chemistry mixed with two-part harmony,

eventually turning into romantic energy…

this admirer wish we can turn this into a reality…

but for now,

I’ll continue to keep wishing

as I’m watching pure talent flowing from my computer screen,

and into my soul.

T.C.P. May 12, 2012

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Save the code, I’m bringing it back, this time…you have plenty of time to not only save, but to get your orders in EARLY for PRIDE!!

Promo. code: SPRING15

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Your Viewing Pleasure:

poeticoldsoul:

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